Mommy Kahdib

Dear Chase (11 months),

Friday, March 06, 2009

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Dear Mr. Crazy-Hair,

What a crazy month my friend. I think maybe you had 4 healthy days this month...you just keep getting slammed with chest colds, the pukey bug, chest cold, RSV, pneumonia. I am so sick of seeing you sick. This month you spent a week in the hospital, actually we checked in the day I would have normally written this letter. Exactly 11 months to the day we were back in the place that you were born. You were really struggling at points and just wanted to sleep on my chest...I knew you must have been really sick since you have not cuddled a day with me since you were a tiny tiny tiny--you're just not the snuggly type. So as awful as it was it was a chance for you and I to spend 6 days together...just you and me...nothing but time to kill. I watched you breath, I stroked your hair, I held your hand...and little by little I saw your personality start to peek back through and I never knew how much I loved you (I knew it was a lot, but seriously, it's way more than I could ever enunciate) until I had to worry about some of the big things the doctors had me worrying about.





Even though you have been super sick you are still my smiley little guy ready to chuckle at silly things like your sister bonking bellys with you or me snorting in your face. You're busy busy busy cruising around the room and getting into trouble when you can. You scare me to death because you but absolutely everything in your mouth...I have your sister on high alert and she will grab "chokies" right out of your hands yelling, "NO, CHASE, CHOKEY CHOKEY," and she brings me the offending item. You are so good with the all of the doctors that you have seen that you are teaching your sister things left and right...she is petrified of the doctor but sees you smile at them, see that it doesn't hurt you, that you like the attention and I can see her slowly starting to change. You don't really sign much yet...but you definitely communicate your needs. Just tonight Emmie and I were talking about how you say different things...like when you mean no you have a very specific grunt...when you want something you have a very very specific ehh, eehhh, eeeEEHHHH! When you are sad we all know about it, and when mom leaves the room we ALL really know about it. You're definitely vocal about your concerns and I love that.





You're still having trouble with food...you WANT it...oh do you want it. But things often make you puke and that makes you and me sad. But we've got this cute little routine that we are starting...when you start to gag I'll say something silly, or sing something, or make a funny noise and you smile, and sometimes get distracted enough that you move the food in your mouth around and you don't lose a belly full. The problem is if I am looking the other way and don't notice the gag because say, I'm eating my own food or helping Emmie or doing something...and you lose the belly full and we start all over again. We have determined that even though you NEED iron you will do anything to get the retched taste out of your mouth and you can taste it in EVERYTHING. So we're improvising and hoping that a high iron diet and a crushed up mulitvitamin with iron will combat that anemia.

I cannot believe you are going to be a year old. You're my little guy. Someday you'll hate me for saying that...but you are my baby. I cannot believe this year has gone by so fast...and all of the things we have gone through together. The scary pregnancy, the bed rest, the induction, the labor, the c-section, the special care nursery, the colic, the endless nights bouncing on the ball, the many things we purchased to help you sleep, the endless nights, the endless nights, the endless nights...lol...and the smiles, the giggles, the cuddles, the funny things you do to make us laugh, the early mornings, the late nights...the crazy amount that you need us and we need you. It has been a wild ride, and even though sometimes it is hard, I am in love with being on this ride with you Mr. Man!



I love you like crazy!
Mom

P.S. No more VIRUSES, k??