Mommy Kahdib

Dear Chase (12 months),

Saturday, March 21, 2009

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Happy Birthday Chasey-doodle!

I need to start by saying you are the cutest thing...I cannot believe that we have been through the year that we have, but here we are! You're a year old today! I just spent the last few hours while you nap looking through pictures of you from the year and you have grown and changed so much. You are starting to sign more, but I would say the only one you use with regularity is "ALL DONE" as in please stop trying to feed me, mom, I'll grow at my own pace thank-you-very-much! Speaking of which, we just had some MORE doctor's appointments and you grew a whole inch and a half in the last month making you 27.5" tall and you gained two pounds making you now 17lbs. 8oz. so you're getting there, little guy, and have no fear, you're in control!

You love anything that makes music, you laugh and dance and wiggle all around. This morning when I told Emmie it was your birthday she was DYING to give you the gifts we picked out...I asked her if we should wrap them first and she assured me that you were too little to care and we brought them to you. Some socks, a snoopy shirt, a tooth brush, a Karen Katz "Where is Baby's Cake" book and a Alligator xylophone...you chewed the socks, we put the shirt on you, you chewed the tooth brush (still no teeth) and you giggled at every page in the book. Then you and Emmie played with the xylophone for a good 20 minutes. Success! We've been singing to you off and on and you just beam at us...your latest is going on adventures all around the room. You don't crawl on hands and knees, you just scoot on your butt to something that you can pull up on and you walk and walk and walk around the room, along the couch, the bookshelf, the entertainment center. You practice letting go and just standing and start laughing so hard that you lose your balanace a bit and have to hang on again. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen. On these adventures you will find any tiny object that you can and immediately put it in your mouth--fuzz, stickers, dirt, lint...we are on major alert for things that will choke you but you make it hard! I guess you eat a pound of dirt before you die and whatever doesn't choke you only makes you stronger...silly boy!

It is finally starting to get warm enough for us to go out to the swingset...and you are in love. You giggle with every push and smile the whole time we are out. If I am holding you and we are inside the house near the front door you will lunge at it and practically throw yourself out of my arms because you want to go out so bad. I'm happy warmer weather is on the horizon and you can enjoy the great outdoors with us this summer!

We got your first hair cut last weekend...I loved your curls, but they just needed a bit of taming. We left the top a bit long and trimmed the "C" curls that were on the sides a bit...you did not shed a single tear. You were busy and looked around a lot, but never did you fuss about it. In fact, when they got the the end the woman said do you want me to use the clippers? I said, "Sure, what the heck," and thinking that you would be afraid or cry out she was hesitant...and with the first buzz you let out an enormous giggle. I guess you LIKE to be tickled!

I'm currently baking you a cake shaped like a turtle. Emmie has donned the turle your thing...we got you one in St. Thomas and two at the New England Aquarium...maybe sometime soon I can find you a turtle print for you wall. You sleep with your turle every night (although in the last couple of weeks you seem to do better without him) and generally you're getting easier everyday. You've decided that food is not the devil and that sleep isn't horrid...but you still have a ways to go, my friend. Everyday is an adventure and I'm so happy to be on it with you! Keep smiling, little boy, you light up the world!

I love you like I love strawberry milkshakes...and like mice love cheese! (a line from your favorite book)

Until next month...I can wait to see what this year has in store for you!

Love,
Mommy


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This was written later that night:

I'm sitting here in the family waiting room waiting for Chase to come out of getting his esphogus and airway scoped. What an awful birthday :( I feel like this is where we were last year...IV's, lot of crying, pain....I hope this isn't a trend.

I was taking a shower at around 3pm, some family was coming over...the spaghetti sauce was in the oven, the cakes were made....Mike came in with Chase and he was hysterical and gagging and choking and sputtering and vommiting saliva in big bursts...tears streaming down his face. I got him to settle down and Mike said he was sitting there one minute and gagging like this the next. I assume he put something in his mouth? So I did a sweep...turned him over and pounded his back...he was breathing, just upset and gagging. I tried to offer him some water and it just dribbled out of his mouth, he gagged when thinking about nursing...so we called the pedi who sent us to the ER.

So we packed into the car (Keri I'm sorry but your cast iron skillet was left in the oven with it on for 2 hours before I remembered...please let me know where I can get a new one if it is ruined) and I literally flew out of the house hair dripping and Mike drove while I leaned over the backseat watching him breath...Emmie wanted Cake, not doctors....

They did and x-ray which didn't show anything but wouldn't show plastic or some other things....so they sent us on an ambulance to Children's and we are here. Basically he couldn't swallow and was just drooling like a faucet (he never drools) and was visibly miserable when he forgot and tried to swallow.....

So we wait :( :( :( I have never been so sad as to hand my baby over to someone and watch him walk away with her...my milk let down, they don't have a pump for me to use, he hasn't nursed since after his nap at 1pm...I am so full of milk and so sad :(

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And later...
OK he is out of the OR...it was a tiny glitter star that was actually in his mouth...but he had some swelling of the trachea too...they said they thought it must have been gone and they were pulling out and bam, it was on his tongue. I found someone who could get me a pump...sweet relief. They are just going to watch him recover from the anesthesia and send us home.