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Dear Kentucky-Fried Chicken,
You are officially three months old today and you have started to squwak...and coo...and really basically just look up at me with your deep blue eyes (and yes, we think you're keeping them, so if it is many years from now and you are looking in the mirror at brown eyes, I am terribly sorry that we are as attached to the blues as we are, I'm sure you're still amazingly beautiful...but if they stay the way they are now we'll have to beat the men off with sharp and pointy clubs and sell the sticks to someone on ebay.) Anyway...that was a long tangent. You are getting so big. When you were about 2 and a half months old I tried a 3-6 month old shirt on you because all the rest were in the wash and you had blasted poo out the side of your diaper like only you can do and to my shock and amazement it fit...I was sad. My baby was no longer fitting in her 0-3's.
I really feel like just yesterday I was looking up at the sky on the way into the hospital on June 10th. It was 10 o'clock at night, I was having crazy contractions, but your dad and I took the time to wrap our arms around each other, and it was at that moment that I looked up at the star filled sky and said to him, I want to remember what this day was like so we can tell Emmie all about it...and now you're here and it feels like there was never a time without you. I want everything in the world for you to be perfect, but the sad thing is I know that can't be true, but gosh darn it a mother can try, can't she? Many moms--old and new, season and just as fresh as I am, tell me that it is hard in the begining, and it has had it's downs, but oh baby are the highs high! You SMILE! You smile these wide open gummy smiles and make the cutest little crinkly-eyed face I have ever seen...and you do it most for me! You haven't quite mastered the laugh yet, and I don't see rolling over in your near future, but boy do you surprise me. When you're really excited you suck in all the air around you and make a little squealy noise, but that couldn't feel too good because then you cough and sputter all with that I-could-bake-you-in-the-oven-and-eat-you-for-every-meal smile that I live for!
You don't sleep on my chest as much as you used to, and I miss that. But you are the best at going to sleep when I need you to. You sleep in the mei tai almost immediately when I put you in it...you sleep after we do your bedtime routine--bath, book, boob and bed...the BBBB! You cry and smile and do all sorts of things while sleeping and I would probably pay a million dollars just to know what it is that you dream about. You wake after about 9 hours and never cry...instead you thump your feet at me until I am up and you are in my arms...we go back to bed and you nurse for a while and then cuddle up until morning...it is that time that I cherish the most, although Daddy gets the raw end of the deal...one morning he woke up almost out of the bed only to look over and see that his tiny daughter was taking up 2/3 of the bed--you still sleep with your arms straight up like a guy in the movies, "I surrender!" You make all of your relatives laugh and smile and act like idiots trying to get you to giggle...your cousin Nicholas held you for the first time a week ago and boy does he love you...when you smile for him his little world stops!
You're my night and my day, I can't imagine life without you...when I leave you to go and tutor for a couple hours I check in my rearview mirror to see your face in the back and I get sad when I realize you're still at home with your daddy...the one thing I ask, sweet baby girl, is that you are as nice to him as you are me...I know he doesn't have boobs, but he loves to hold and cuddle you when you need a bottle because I'm away!
The things you love...your swing. Looking at yourself in the mirror. Laying naked on your changing pad and thumping your legs around. Your bath and all the attention you get while in it. Raspberries on your chubba little stomach. My hair dangling in your face. "I'm a little teapot!" Funny lips! Kicking the animals in your barn...trying to suck on your hand, cuddling in the morning, smiling in the morning, looking adorable in the morning. Being held, being in a carrier--any carrier really...your ring sling, mei tai, ergo...people talking to you. Your aunt Emily who makes you laugh! (All your aunties and uncles, really...) You grandmas and grandpas...and I think, most of all, your Daddy and Mommy!
Sometimes there are things that I do that I think, "I can't wait until Emerson is old enough to do this with me..." and really, I can...because I love these baby days more than you will ever know--I am so happy to be home with you, so happy to spend every minute with you, and I know when you're in high school and you're getting ready to go off to college I'll have all of these days to look back on when I kiss you goodbye and tell you how proud of you I am...hey, a mom can dream big, can't she!!
Ok, chicky-baby, I love you!
Mom
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